Over the past few weeks it has come to light that my mother-in-law, the redoubtable Pauline, has been telling all of her closest friends and relatives about a significant event in our lives. So, it seems to me that I should be able to discuss it here and let everyone else (the one or two who read my blog!!) know from the horse's mouth.
Some time ago (about 2006) David and I, having had no luck in the fertility stakes, decided to investigate the possibility of adoption. We approached our local authority, completed the training course and were about to sign on the dotted line to start the long and arduous process when David's vertebrae decided they wanted a say in the matter too!
Following many weeks of agony, while the doctors waited to see if he would spontaneously recover (!), David had an operation to alleviate the ruptured disk in his back. This worked well for about 6 weeks then the pain returned with a vengeance and, to cut long story short, he had a further 2 operations over the next 3 years and was finally told that no more could be done surgically. Since his last op. he has shown great strength of will and although there are days when he is in great pain, despite his painkillers, he has learned how to cope with his condition which now includes fibromyalgia too.
In January 2011 we decided to take another look at adoption now that David's health was more stable, or at least under control, and contacted the LA again. They came out to see us and decided that we should do the training again as much had changed in the intervening years. We attended the training in February 2011 and were advised that several issues needed to be addressed before we could start completing our Form F (the application form for prospective adopters). We both had to get medicals done and I subsequently had to have an investigation into what later turned out to be fibroids!! That took us to October 2011 when we could finally get down to the nitty-gritty of completing the application.
The form itself was a huge piece of work that took about 6 months to complete with the help of our Social Worker. It involved a lot of soul-searching and getting to the bottom of any deep seated issues either of us might have had from our childhood, etc. We also had to decide how many children we felt we could offer a home to, what ages, what gender, etc. Not an easy process!!
We completed the form in February 2012, we then had to have a second opinion visit from our SW's manager, then we had to attend the Adoption Panel!! A very scary morning faced with a table of 10 people who grilled us on the information we had in our form (and some that wasn't in the form!) who then pronounced that they would recommend we should be accepted as adoptive parents. This then had to be ratified by the "Decision Maker" about 2 weeks later.
The outcome was that on (Friday) 13th April 2012 the decision was made that David and I could officially be adoptive parents. Woohoo!!
Our SW is now in the process of "looking for little children" for us. We are currently twiddling our thumbs as there's not much we can do. We don't know how many children (1, or 2 if part of a sibling pair), we don't know what age (between 18 months and 8 years) and we don't know what gender (we didn't specify). The worst thing is we also don't know how long this is going to take - not great for planning adoption leave for me or cutting down David's opening hours at the Nursery (horticultural!), etc. We can't buy beds because we might only need one or a cot, there's no point in decorating the bedroom/s as the child/children should be involved in the decisions, etc, etc, etc.
And on top of that...we're about to become parents for the first time and it's REALLY scary!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment